Crying happens a lot since I’ve been a Mom. I have always been moved by movies, songs, TV shows…commercials. I’m a bit of a sap. But since being a momma there are things that I absolutely can’t handle. Like anything associated with little ones. I always put myself in the parents shoes and I always imagine Steffen in the child’s shoes. There was a Mother’s Day competition on the Today show. One of the finalist was a Mom to a child who suffered an illness and the other was a surrogate for her sister who couldn’t have children. I cried as I imagined what if something happened to Steff. I cried as I remembered how we went through considering surrogacy and that was almost the path we needed to go down. Then I was suddenly hit with this overwhelming feeling of honor. The word kept popping out at me. I cried. I cried because I was thankful. I cried because I am so HONORED to have been chosen to be Steffens Mom. Every day I learn more about him and about myself. Every day I understand more and more why God had us wait so very long. He was creating the perfect little blond haired boy for us. He was molding us to be the the parents he needed. We are definitely works in progress, but Steffen, he is perfect. Every day he grows, every day a new part of his personality is revealed. I am honored to be the one to have given birth to him. I am honored to be the momma that will be here to guide him down the path that God has laid out for him. I am honored to be one of the people chosen to be there for him when he falls, to kiss his booboos (and they my kisses really do cure all right now), to help him brush it off and be the person he’s meant to be. I am honored to love him and to be loved by him. I heard recently that loving another is seeing the face of God and I truly believe that. I am thankful and honored for that.
This next picture was the first time we had the big knee scrape and big bandaid. We’ve had several since then. That same day, he actually did it to his elbow too. The first aid kit has been our best friend recently. When I give those boo boos a kiss and put a cool “truck” bandaid on them, all is healed. And if you’re wondering what’s on his face, yes, it is food. We ran outside for a couple very quick shots after dinner/before bed. I want to remember the mess as well as everything else.
Peace and so much love,
Cilla
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