I’m going to let you in on a little secret, my husband and I don’t do road trips well together. I am full of nerves and anxiety on long drives. Even I can admit it is not my finest quality. I love adventure and love travel, but the problem is getting there. I’m not all that fond of flying either, but it’s over so much quicker and I’m not constantly nagging Bret for his driving. I will take flying over driving 13 hours any day. This year…for practical reasons that didn’t seem so practical later on…we decided to drive. The trip started out promising with a nice long breakfast, the relaxing vacation feeling, dancing, and singing. It wasn’t long before the overwhelming anxiety set in. And now that we have a little one in the back seat for which we are responsible and love more than anything, the anxiety is even worse. See, it’s not so bad when I drive. I know…completely irrational. But I KNOW what I can see and how I’m going to react. I have no idea for sure if he saw those break lights or that stop light. Trust me…I know how impossible this is. After tricking, I mean, convincing Bret to let me drive , I was set. Smooth sailing. When we FINALLY arrive and have a bit of sleep, we go to enjoy our day. Then…we all get a virus! What? Y’all. You just don’t know how much I love vacation. I have loved it even more since having Steff. It’s so peaceful and we are all so happy. To get a virus in our happiest place, well, that’s just not even right. Steff and I were the last to get it. My philosophy was we were going to enjoy the sand and sun and beautiful ocean no matter what. Steff and I had the first day on the beach as a mommy day date. I loved watching the waves crash up against his toes as he would giggle and run away, only to run right back. This was peace. It’s because of this day that I realized there is no place on Earth that God is more present than the ocean. The interaction between Steff and the waves reminded me of playing Tag as a little girl. Only he was playing tag with the ocean, perhaps with God. The drive, the virus, it was all worth it. It’s a little like life. The process, the waiting, getting “there”, isn’t always fun. Doesn’t seem like it will ever end. But it does, and you do get there. And it’s all worth it. It all passes and feels like only a little blip of time. It felt like we would never make it to FL, but we did. And goodness did God, on His time, let us know it was worth it. The same with our infertility journey. It felt like we would never have a child. It felt like God was saying no. The journey, oh, the journey felt as if it would last forever. But here we are. Over three years later. And when he gives me a bear hug or kisses my cheek or makes me laugh or even drives me crazy, I know it’s all worth it. There are days that I don’t feel equipped. Maybe even most days at times. But I do know that he was worth the journey. We had to make it through that season to get to the next. To be the people we were to become. Just the same as this season and the next. It all will pass and pass too quickly.
Speaking of passing a bit too quickly…of course, vacation did just that. Here’s a little look into our, mostly, peaceful two weeks.
Speaking of God being so obviously present…
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