I’ll Be Brave

It is an honor to be his friend, to be his comfort, to be his reminder that all is well and all shall be well, to be his safe place to land, to be his “I love you”, to be his guiding hand, to be his tickle, to be his “Silent Night”, to be his one more kiss…one more hug, to be his yes and his no, to be his super hero, to be his wrestling partner, to be his teacher, to be his swing pusher, to be his boo-boo kisser, to be his Momma. My heart feels like it’s going to swell so big it won’t fit into my chest every time he reaches for my hand or wraps his arms around my neck or puts his hand upon my cheek or when he says “I wish I could be closer to you” and then puts his cheek to my cheek or when I see him being kind…empathetic…giving love to others. This kind of love is greater than anything I could imagine. The overwhelming since of responsibility has, at times, been more than my anxiety ridden soul could bare. But not one day has passed that he hasn’t brought overwhelming joy to my life…on the hardest days it may only be for a brief moment…while the best days it is constant and I am filled with gratitude. 

Today while we were talking about a field trip he would be taking with his class to the Christian Care Center, where the residents would be reading to them, we talked about what a gift it is to be able to serve others and to also receive service from others. He talked about how he didn’t like the sad faces some of the residents made. He also doesn’t like when someone has a boo-boo. We placed the word “uncomfortable” with the feeling and how it can make us nervous. He crawled into my lap for some snuggles. When we were all done he said “I’ll be brave.” With no prompting from me. With no mention of the word brave from my mouth or his daddy’s. He said the most perfect word there is for any day and any moment “brave”. My heart melted and I thought “he gets it….he really gets it”. We talk about being brave and kind every single day and today he got what that really means. Brave isn’t the lack of fear. Being brave is showing up each day, each moment, even when you’re scared. Doing what’s needed…doing what’s necessary…doing what we are pulled to do…even when we are scared…even when we fail…even when we have walked away or said no to the task before…THAT is being brave. 

This too shall pass…all of it…the light and the dark…and when it does I want to look back and say “I was brave”. 

So much love,

Cilla