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Five Years

September 10, 2010

Hi, I'm cilla!
I am a loved, incredibly imperfect, storyteller of life, love, and joy. Photographer to some of the most genuine and beauty-filled people in KY.
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My facebook status tonight… “I can’t believe it will be five years on Friday. How corny is it that I feel like I truly love him more today than I did when we got married? Happy anniversary my one and only… Bret Baierlein…my little coach :)”
Dawn’s response…”And I’m sure you have the most inspiring, beautiful post ready to go…can’t wait to read it!!”

Andrea’s response…”Pressure is on if you don’t have a post ready. lol. :)” (Love how she ends everything with a smiley face like I do…)

PRESSURE IS ON. Panic sets in. I had debated back and forth if I would do a big elaborate blog post to celebrate the day. Since I know everyone has to be tired of my lovey dovey posts and probably just want to scream “Get a room”, I had decided I wouldn’t be blogging about this momentous occasion…well not until after our awesome weekend at least. Now though…now the pressure is ON. So, for the last few hours I have been writing, erasing, writing, erasing…trying to find the perfect words. I tried to do something clever that was a play off of 500 Days of Summer. Something about a narrator following me around with his deep game show host voice. Something about a story of boy meets girl, my early exposure to sad 80’s hair band music like Every Rose Has it’s Thorn, and my rose colored glasses and Brets crystal clear glasses. It’s just not working. I would get an ‘F’ in creative writing today. Today, creative writing=epic fail.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I don’t need anything fancy or creative to say how I feel. Our love is simple and real. There are days when I feel like I could choke him. There are days when his compulsive need to be right sends me over the edge and I look like the scary girl on the Exorcist (sadly…excessive cursing and all). It’s funny because those are also the days that I have a compulsive need to correct him “Don’t say this…don’t do this…don’t get in a debate with this person…don’t correct that person.” I know that I have often painted such a pretty picture of our love, so this just could not be true. The truth is, there are days when it’s just not pretty. Bret told me long ago that love is a choice. It’s not the mystical thing that everyone makes it out to be. After he told me that, he followed it up with “I choose to love you. I choose to share my life with you.” THAT’S why I love him. Our love isn’t just pretty. It’s real. We do have days where we want to choke each other, but those days are a grain of sand when compared to the number of days that our love is magnificant. Our love is so strong that during the days I want to scream, I also want to hold his hand, and love him (well, maybe after I’ve had time to get all the excessive cursing out of my system). I thank God that I know how it feels to have those “I’m so in love with you” moments. The moments that truely take your breath away. I thank God that I still get to experience those moments. During those moments I breath a sigh of relief. During that sigh, I’m thanking God, I’m thanking the Universe, I’m thanking my fairy God mother, I’m thanking my guardian angel, I’m thanking my husband. I’m taking a mental picture. I’m breathing it all in.

Five years ago, when I walked down that aisle, never did I imagine this is where our lives would be. I imagined Bret teaching and coaching, me working for non-profits, three kiddos, and a sparkling clean house. God may not have blessed us with the love of a child, but He has multiplied our love more than I could’ve ever dreamed. I have discovered a career that I love more than I could’ve ever thought possible. And our house may not be sparkling clean all the time, but it is our home. THIS is how I know that God has a plan for us that is so much more amazing than anything we had planned for ourselves. I can’t wait to see what’s waiting around the corner for us.

Now for the alternate blog post…courtesy of Dawn.

Bret, Oh Bret…how glad I am we met.
From our days at Red Lobster, I’m glad you stayed so sweet and didn’t become a mobster
We have been through so much…you really are my rock, you are so clutch
You love to debate…and then debate, debate and debate
Many times you think you are right…maybe you just are better at the fight
But in the end…you are my best friend (well besides that whole Andrea thing)
Five years has gone so fast, I know this marriage is meant to last!!

So much love…



  1. traci says:

    happy anniversary!!!

  2. andrea says:

    This is even more perfect than I imagined… as always. 🙂 Happy anniversary… have fun risking your life on a zip line. lol.

  3. andrea says:

    Oh… and I think the alternate post needs to be framed and hung in the office. lol.

  4. Amy Parsons says:

    Love it. Have a Happy Anniversary. 🙂

  5. Stacy says:

    Happy Anniversary love! Enjoy and yes FRAME this!

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